The Karen Dog Glitch
by popuriFFic
Summary: Jack finds a quick way into Karen's heart with the help of our narrator. HM64, ONE-SHOT.
1. Chapter 1

a note from the author:

who didn't have a love/hate relationship with the karen dog glitch when they first played harvest moon 64? finally, the beautiful karen was attainable for marriage in only a night. no more veryberries, no more searching aimlessly for her at the beach in the mornings, no more "don't talk to me so much". just a throbbing pink heart and those gorgeous green eyes full of love for your character... right? read on.

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the karen dog glitch

(as told by poochy the dog)

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As far as dogs go, I had a pretty good life. I ran with the horses, I chased the hens, I wrestled with the cocks. My master was loving and patient, but more importantly, he was respectable. Before Jack, the farm had been a different place. My days were spent amongst the debris-ridden fields, chasing wild animals who made homes underneath the abandoned soil.

Jack came and the animals left. I liked him right away. Jack would smile and laugh and chase me around the farm and get excited about absolutely nothing. Together we uprooted every weed on that farm and replaced them all with tall rows of vegetables.

For the first few days, we didn't even leave the farm. We worked our bones and bodies until muscles ached and we collapsed on the bed in the farm house together until the morning came again (as it always did). Jack slept soundly and the sounds of his breathing made me feel safe and helped me drift off at the foot of his bed every night.

The town itself was bright and beautiful. Once the farm became a farm again we began to spend our days with the people of flower bud village, the animals in moon mountain, and everything in between. Jack led; I followed. He would often comment on that fact. "Poochy, you're such a good boy! I can't believe you don't even need a leash." I had no idea what this "leash" device was and I certainly had no intentions of finding out. For that reason i remained a "good boy" for the entirety of our friendship.

He cared for me and enabled me to explore more of the world. for that I was grateful; I began to really love and respect my master. Our partnership was the kind of bond that man could some reason only seem to develop with animals. Jack would talk. He would talk a lot, and I had all the time in the world to listen. He would tell me stories of the city, of his past, of his mother that died during childbirth and everything in between. It took me a long time to understand why he so often talked to me about things that, in the company of others, he never mentioned a word about. One day, he told me. "Poochy, you just listen. You never make suggestions or give advice. I can say anything and you love unconditionally. But people... people just like to hear themselves talk." After that, Jack began filling the farm with animals.

The first, Pegasus: a brown and black pony gifted to us by Ann Green. Ann had a kind face and pretty eyes and hair that smelt amazing when i would bury my face in her neck. It smelt like yesterday's sunshine and cold milk. I did think she was beautiful, but then so was everyone, in their own way. Even I could admit, though, that she wasn't beautiful like Karen.

Ann had given us a pony and that year I watched it grow into a steed. Before Jack could ride Pegasus, he lived in the barn with the first new addition we could afford: Nala. She was a baby lamb and she was adorable and Jack babied the bejesus out of her, brushing and trimming her coat meticulously and hand-feeding her treats. The odd morning, when we went into the barn for chores and I wasn't quite awake yet, I'd nuzzle up under Nala's fur and nap while waiting for Jack to ship the crops.

The barn filled up and the crop field expanded and the farm still felt empty. It needed a woman's touch and I wasn't the only one who'd noticed. Jack still didn't have a girlfriend, though it wasn't for lack of trying. Karen Leonardi had sharp edges and cold eyes and an ass you could bounce a quarter off of. Not that I had a clue what that was supposed to mean. I had never actually met Karen; that had just been Jack's description of her. And he spent a lot of time describing her. Every morning and every night.

Jack had been visiting Karen at night at the bar she worked at in the village. To no avail, as Jack would often talk about how tough she was to crack. For almost the entire two seasons we had lived her, Jack had been bringing Karen everything her heart desired. We her grew tomatoes, collected her wild berries, picked her flowers... according to jack, she just wasn't having it. But her beauty had entranced him; the crueler she was, the more challenging she got. Seeing my master act like a love-struck fool was both entertaining and refreshing. But, I did feel bad that his love was seeming to go unrequited.

I remember the day I met Karen. Jack and I were delivering eggs from his new hen, Athena, to Elli. Elli was nice, but she didn't play with me much. She always seemed nervous; maybe it's because when I tried to get her to chase me, I found she couldn't really run very fast. Elli was just okay. She smelt like flour and pastry filling and maybe something else, too. Was it cinnamon? Luckily I didn't have to sit there and think about it much longer; it was 5pm, and the bakery was closing, politely rushing us out the door.

"Shoot... I didn't realize what time it was," Jack moaned. He didn't have the time or the energy to go back to the farm to drop me off. He tore off a quarter of the jumbo sized cookie he had charmed Elli into giving him, and knelt down to feed it to me.

"Okay boy." Jack looked me directly in the eye. "This is important. I've gotta take you to the bar to meet Karen. I don't have time to drop you off." just as I suspected. "So you have to please, please be a _good_ boy for me." I silently promised that I would.

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to be continued... right now.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

the karen dog glitch

(as told by poochy the dog)

* * *

I had never been to the bar with my master before, and a few of the faces were unfamiliar. It was strange to think I hadn't met every person living in the village by now. I didn't see any females, though.

"Jack!" a greying man with kind eyes waved to my master from behind the bar. Jack scooped me up in his arms and carried me over, tail beginning to wag. "Karen's in tonight, she's just running a little late," he said carefully, making sure no one else was in earshot.

"How about a drink then?" Jack smiled in thanks. I saw Gray in the corner, alone at his table. He was staring into his mug oblivious to our arrival. I waddled over to him with Jack and his drink following close behind. I pressed my cold nose against his ankle, making him jump a little. I loved Gray, and he always smelt the same, too: like horses.

"Poochy!" Gray wore a smile so small you had to squint to see it, but it was there. He scooped me up in his lap and stroked behind my ears. "What are you doing here?" he asked me.

"We were just... in the neighborhood." Jack answered, sitting down beside Gray. Jack and I spent most of our weekends at Green Ranch, lately; Jack would run pegasus around the track Gray had prepared for them, over and over, tirelessly trying to beat their old records. Gray and I would watch from the field and Gray would shout instructions at them. Sometimes Ann brought us out cookies and we'd eat in the sun.

The pace of my wagging tail increased just recalling the memory and Gray pet me again. "Good boy, Pooch."

The door opened wide and in she breezed, wearing a miniskirt and a waitress' apron, and being followed by a dark-skinned boy in a bandana. He smelt like orange juice from all the way across the bar. I couldn't make out her scent, yet. It was bitter and tart and immediately intrigued me.

"Karen!" Jack stood to greet her right away, grinning like a fool. Gray and I rolled our eyes at the same time as he made his way over to the bar. Jack had no game. "I brought you this. It's the freshest tomato from my harvest."

Karen greeted jack's grin with a smirk. "Um, okay." She grabbed the tomato, took a bite, and turned to walk away.

"Uh, so how are you?" Jack tried again.

She slowly turned back around and narrowed her eyes at him. "... I'm _fine_. What was your name, again?"

"Jack. It's um, Jack. Jack Rose... and I'm fine too! More than fine." Jack continued to ramble, beaming like a dork.

Karen was annoyed now. "Right, Jack. Look... don't talk to me so much, okay?" She pushed her way past and began to wait her tables, finished our tomato on the way.

Dejected, Jack headed back over to us. Gray burst into laughter and Jack touched his forehead to the table.

"Oh my goddddd... what does this chick want from me?" he wailed.

"Jack just get over it, already. It's never going to happen." This of course was Gray's attempt at being a nice guy and trying to help his friend. He hoisted me up on his shoulder to try and make Jack laugh. I put a paw on top of his head and tried to balance myself. Jack was giggling; Gray and I had done well.

I stood on Gray's head and surveyed the bar. I noticed others pointing and laughing, too. and then, I saw cold emerald green eyes shooting daggers and me and I froze. Karen the barmaid rushed over. "Who the hell brought a dog in here? This a bar, people, not a petting zoo. Get it out!" Uh oh.

"Gray, you know better," Karen said sternly. She ran to our table and scooped me up off of his head. Oh my god. Oh no. My master's future girlfriend already hated me and all he told me to do was be a good boy. I fought back tears and the urge to whine. I was terrified of her. She held me tightly as she yelled at gray.

Gray threw up his hands. "I didn't put him up there. He wandered up on his own." Gray! You asshole! He had thrown me under the bus, a poor, innocent, defenceless dog. Atleast Gray could fight back! I awaited my fate.

Karen rolled her eyes. "Riiiight. Well, this must be a pretty stupid, gravity-defying dog you have here."

She held me under my arms away from her body, looking at my face. I cringed and looked up at her, trying to give her my best possible puppy dog eyes. "Then again, he doesn't seem too clever to me..."

What a bitch this girl was! I'd like to see her come to my farm and talk to me like that! I'd gnaw her ankle off!!!

... but right now I was so scared I just hoped I didn't piddle on the floor.

But Karen... she was smiling at me. I decided to test her with a slight wag of my tail; this delighted her and elicited a full-fledged grin. I couldn't believe it! Karen liked me! I was a good boy! I was helping my master! My tail wagged genuinely this time, and I licked Karen's hand.

This time when she spoke, her tone had completely transformed. "Awww, kisses!" she hugged me and I kissed her on the cheek this time (ensuring not to make it too sloppy) and she giggled. "Gray, how come you've never brought this little guy around before?"

"Poochy is Jack's dog," Gray shrugged.

"I see..." Karen paused, "and who's Jack?"

"Uh, me," Jack volunteered. Karen she whipped her head right around and glared. Jack shrunk in his seat, intimidated, but then Karen softened.

"Jack, you never told me you had a puppy. Animals, they never take to me. I don't know why, but poochy..." Karen blushed, "well, he's ... cute, and he likes me. Well, I think so... do you think... do you think we could play some more? I'm sorry about before. You and your puppy are welcome to stay as long as you like." Karen paused and leaned down closer to Jack. "In fact, I insist upon it."

I laughed at Jack's flabbergasted expression. His mouth had taken the shape of a small 'O' and I could tell he was desperately attempting to process what had happened. "Uhhhhh...... yeah. I mean, yes, of course." Jack was stunned into silence.

"He likes... fetch?" Jack offered.

Karen had changed from before. Her eyes were warmer and she held me close enough that I could smell her hair. I had never eaten whatever it was that she smelled like, so I couldn't put my nose on the scent. It was like grapes. Grapes covered with both sugar and vinegar, and then something else.

Jack and I left the bar late that night; I'd say it had to be around 12:30. I played and ran and danced around the tavern all night, entertaining the customers and watching Jack and Karen flirt through the awkward, early stages of love.

We were the last three left that night, and when it was time for Karen to finally lock up, we said our goodbyes. Karen bent down and kissed my nose, and then stood on her tip-toes to kiss the master softly on the lips. His kiss lasted many seconds longer than my own, of course. Some guys have all the luck.

"See you tomorrow... " and Karen disappeared behind the door.

We walked swiftly back to the farm by the light of the stars, and once we were a safe distance away, Jack picked me up and swung me around in circles, dancing down the streets. "Boy, I have no idea what you did back there, but... good boy. Do you hear me?" he held me out and looked directly into my eyes. "Good boy, Poochy," he repeated.

When we got home Jack went to the kitchen immediately, grabbing a piece of cake he had picked up from Elli. He dumped the entire piece into my food bowl, and pet me twice on the head. I was shocked. Sure, I had tasted cake. I'd been given little bites and snuck some from leftovers and trashcans, but no one had ever given me my own piece and actually _allowed_ me to eat it. "You earned this, boy," Jack smiled at me, encouraging me to eat. Then he went left to go wash up for bed.

I didn't need any more convincing than that. I positioned myself in front of my bowl and enjoyed every last bite of Elli's buttercream frosting, thanking Karen silently the whole time.

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fin.

a note from the author:

how can you not love animals? especially dogs. so delighted by the simplest things. next time you eat a piece of cake, i hope you savor every drop.

of course poochy was the one to break karen's outer shell, huh? the poor girl; she just wanted to be loved.

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End file.
